The first few weeks after we lost Matt, I wasn’t up to writing about him. He was my friend, not a story. Eventually, though, two things changed my mind. First, that Matt’s own published accounts of a person’s final moments had been meaningful to their survivors, and didn’t I owe him that in return? Mostly, though, I just couldn’t believe he’d died as he had. So I did some reporting, and wrote this, to better understand what I couldn’t accept.